Day [42]
here i am, with the intention of making you touched again.. i'm afraid that when my work resumes in a wk's time, our daily lives will be affected..
i'm very glad and thankful to whatever you said to me.. i believe we have built a stronger bond after last nite.. i'm very sorry for making you sad.. truly.. deeply regretted..
what you have done for me... as if like a plant... conrtibuting oxygen to the environment.. silently.. expecting just a little water and sunshine everyday.. i'm the environment.. taking everything for granted.. i can't even provide the water and sunshine you asked for.. am i realli worth your love??
but from now on, i'll not wanna be the environment, taking everything for granted.. i'm gonna be your koala bear.. and you'll be my tree trunk.. i'll provide warmth when you are cold, my fur will absorb your tears, shld it rain.. and you, just being you, has provided me with the enormous energy to carry on with my life..
i'll tell you now, how much do i love you..
when everything around me, makes me think of you.. when everything that i have, has a picture of you.. be it my com, my bed or even my mobile.. everywhere has you.. and i'm not frightened.. in fact i wanna put more additions of you.. i think of you like uncles thinking of striking 4-D.. everything i do, i'll wonder if u're doing too..
everytime when you smile, i felt as if even if i'm going to die in the next min, i felt i've died a happy man.. every tear you shed for me, i felt my nails clawing myself.. i have a neva-felt devastated feeling.. every laughter you made, i felt like i'm the happiest person in the whole world..
we had our ups.. so do we have with our downs.. i hope our downs will not make us feel hopeless about our future.. but rather, we'll work hard.. i got my porky while you got your turtle (prone to tears).. even as i'm writing this, i wonder if u're taking care of urself..
ppl may have tell you they're willing to wait a lifetime for you.. but i dun wan.. i dun wan to wait a lifetime.. i want you now.. i want you to be by my side.. if i had waited a lifetime, by the time, i wanna enjoy my time with you, i wud have already entered the coffin.. so i want you now.. so i can enjoy a lifetime of happiness with you.. not waiting a lifetime.. but enjoying a lifetime.. with you..
i may not be the perfect guy in your eyes.. but i will.. i may not be the smartest.. but i'll be.. i may not even be the most romantic guy.. but i'll do.. everything... just to be with you.. everything.. i can live without anyone in this world, except you..
i wanna enter everywhere with you.. enter the secret garden together.. i'll fulfill our wishes to build a garden next time.. may not be big.. but still, our very own.. i'll enter the catholic church with you.. ur long-time dream.. i'll enter the Uni in UK with you.. and i'll study hard.. so that i'll pass your parents' expectations..
i wanna work so hard for you.. saving every cent for you.. dun wan you to even have a day of sadness.. not even a day.. i wanna be there for you.. everytime.. no matter where i am.. as long as i'm in the same country as you, i'll reach you before anything.. pls trust me..
--------
Day [41]
if "sorry" is able to make you feel better, i'll write ten thousands of it..
do u knoe what i see now?? i see a re-enactment of what's happening to me mths ago..
i believe you have an answer with you.. we always have an answer with us.. but we wonder if this answer is the best answer.. i can't tell you which way is rite..
i'm beginning to read and understand you.. we have began to be able to knoe each other better even without the opposite party asking..
i knew u were happy when the last sentence of our conversation came up.. but are you realli that happy?? bcos sadly, i sensed everything negative.. mayb i shldn't say it just yet.. there's alot of "maybes" running in my mind now.. what's our future?? no one knoes..
much as we have to face the fact, now the ball is in your hands.. i dunno how long our happiness will last.. i also dunno how long am i going to wait or how long can i wait.. but i'll not get hurt.. cos i always had this thinking that you'll leave me one day..
but doesn't get hurt, does it means, i'm not deeply in love?? or bcos i'm a strong person mentally..?? every ending of a phone call is as painful as a stab in the heart.. every "bye" you said, seems like a rehersal to the day we gotta face the music..
to me, no one is able to like 2 persons.. no matter what, there's always an unbalance towards both sides.. actually, all i'm awaiting is for you to tell me "please wait for me.. to be yours..", but since you have not love me yet, you can always choose to walk back to where you came from.. i asked you yest if i'm in your heart.. you told me shld be..
but me in your heart, does it means love? or isit i'm just outside of it, not able to enter.. i dun care how much time i have to wait for you.. the time between us, just like an hourglass.. when the time has come to an end, and you haven make a decision, we can always turn the hourglass over, and time will go again..
in this period of 2-3wks, we indeed have moved on very fast.. i must say, faster than any of my previous relationships.. i always believe that i must have a solid foundation before i move on to "love".. i'll be starting work next thurs.. perhaps we'll hear less from each other.. by then, mayb u'll get an answer..
when i told you, i knew what's expected of me now.. i realli do.. mayb u'll be fast enough to detect.. mayb u'll not be.. facing it together doesn't literally means as long as we stand beside each other, everything will be fine.. but.. if you feel that the fate between u and kenji is wearing thin, then i'll be there to face him with you...
but if you feel that the fate between us shldn't even be there, then you can tell me straight too.. if you think since things have not start, you wanna turn back, i'm also okie.. indeed, you have an answer in you.. when you said "i miss you too.." i knew u had an answer.. but if there isn't, these 4 words will not appear...
there's a quote:
"we shld not choose someone we can live with, but someone we can't live without.."
i'm not as generous as to tell you, i'll return you to the guy.. i believe i'm selfish and i believe as long as i set my heart to something or someone, with my determination, i'll definitely get it.. i may sound unconfident at times.. but it's bcos i'm unsure of the signals transmitting from you.. but once i get the signal, i'll work hard..
how much i miss you, you always knew... i'm sure you always knew.. to the extent, we dun even wanna put down our phones.. or we check each other's blog a few times a day to see if any of us wrote something funny or special..
and of course, we have this garden.. i'll not close this garden.. we shared many things in here... we said many things in here.. even if u've moved out, i'll still have this garden going.. watering it for 40 over days, both of us will sure to be sad to close it.. sometimes i dun wan to make the decisions.. i wan to knoe how do u think.. if you want me to move out..
when u asked me not to move, i believe it took lots of courage and guts.. as i'm writing all those above.. the music from our garden is telling me to hold on.. to believe in you not to move.. to believe in myself that u'll be mine.. the lyrics seems to be your words..
the garden will stay no matter who moves out.. the music will stays even if the garden runs dry.. everything will be just like now.. mayb few mths later, when you have come to a decision, and decided to stop everything, the music will be like a pair of swans singing their swan song - a song of parting..
maybe i'll get to hear it out from your lips "i love you too, kel.."
someday.. perhaps..
--------
Today, you said "I love you"
many thoughts flow in.. although its expected (yes, i do and you knew)
You are not the 1st who said "I love you" besides him during these 2 years.
You are not the only one who said "Let us do it together" during these 2 years.
You are right when you said i sounded lost, confused, worried.
Lost of words.. coz i will not say "I love you" to 2 persons. It's unfair to both.
Confused.. coz i wonder which path is ahead of us.
Worried.. will i hurt more people and who will i hurt ?
I have answers before..
"I will wait for the day"
"Whichever path, I will walk with you"
"Love will surely hurt someone, it depends who you wanna hurt"
Again, his answers make me think so hard.. Perhaps, you may give the same answers.
When you said "I love you", i was happy. Bet you knew it.
but..
how long will this last ?
how long are you willing to wait ?
will i hurt you ?
Can you remember you have once said you wanted to bring me to somewhere far away from this place.. Actually, i really like the thought of it.. but, how can i be so irresponsible ?
I enjoyed every moment now. Just wondering what will the day be like when the sun rises. Will i be still happy ?
--------
Day [40]
today realli is a special day for us.. i hope we can remember it for as long as we have the garden to remind us.. today we stood by each other, not sleeping.. drifted in and out of dreamland, looking for each other.. but i'm glad at the point of 4am, we met each other outside the gate of lala-land..
i'm not realli sure if u're happy or not.. but i love you and it's so true.. though i still have the feeling that one day you may leave me, but as much as i have to face it, i realli hate to think of it.. as u knoe, these 2 wks when i'm not working, we progressed realli fast with laughters, jokes, smiles and of couse, music...
summer, are you realli happy?? these 2 wks, are you realli happy?? do u knoe how happy you made me??
so far.. no girls has ever been able to cool my temper.. you did.
so far.. no girls has ever been able to love again.. you did
so far.. no girls brought any joy in my life.. you did..
how much i love you.. i love you with all my life.. all my money..
i'll promise to protect you with my life against sadness, sickness and all bad things in your life.. i'll give you all the time in the world for you to prepare to be my lovely girl.. a someone i can call my own..
when you said "i miss you too", i got a shock of my life.. i thought u'll say "okie.. bye bye" but i neva expected your reply.. sounds all so sweet and lovely.. i'm so touched.. *wiping the tears welling up*
dun consider so much le.. lean on me.. i'll be your shoulder to cry on.. friday, go on a date with me and you'll definitely knoe more abt me.. sweet love..
--------
Day [40]
today i'm finally able to say i love you
cross my heart and it's the truth
and i knoe i'm in her heart
my love, i wanna tell her just how much..
things she has done touched me alot
words she has said, made me love her lots
i've promised to curb my anger, not to make her sad
promised not to bully her, not to make her mad..
we agreed to be truthful to each other
no more lies and cut down on our frequent quarrels
i hope today will mark us a special day
as we enter each other's heart and stay there always..
today will be a historical day
i just love her in every way
may we stay happy forever
my poem, my love, i swear to her...
--------
Day [40]
Our First:
First Meeting: 13 Oct 2005
First Conflict: 13 Oct 2005
First Blog: Our Secret Garden set up at 6 Nov 2005, 1.20pm
First Time I Got Her Number: 23 Oct 2005 (bcos of internet prob.. hehehe.. ^_^)
First Song I sang to summer: Tong Hua
First Song She sang to me: Yu Jian
First Duet: Hao Xin Fen Shou (15 Nov 2005)
First Call to her: 24 Oct 2005
First Call from her: 8 Nov 2005; 3.15pm
First MMS to summer: 25 Oct 2005; 2.30pm
First MMS from her: 11 Nov 2005; 2.45pm
First Time I express my liking to her: 24 Oct 2005
First Time She expresses her liking to me: 10 Nov 2005; 1.30am
First Time I'm thinking of her: 14 Oct 2005 (cos she go bangkok, never tell me.. *fatty*)
First Time She's thinking of me: 8 Nov 2005
First Time We played a game together: yahoo pool; 20 Nov 2005, 11.05pm
First Time I said "I Love You" to her: 22 Nov 2005, 4.25am
--------
every nite,
i hear your voice before i slp..
i'll read bedtime stories to bring u to bed..
but do u knoe,
ur voice is the one,
who paths my way into the sweetest dream that i can ever ask for..
into a land of..
love,
hope, and
dreams..
where i can fall freely,
and i knoe,
ur every breathe will take me to a further land of love ..
hearing ur voice,
calms my mind..
cools my soul..
tames the demon in me..
makes me feel like a fairy..
with no troubles..
and just by hearing ur breathe thru the phone,
i close my eyes,
and i felt i can smell the sweet breathe,
blowing all my troubles away..
ur breathe,
it just sucks all my fatigue,
sucks all my sadness into a hole,
and leaves it down there..
and then,
ur giggles,
and smiles wakes me up to a sunnier land..
not only a land before time..
but also a land where everything will come true once u wish for it..
i can picture ur eyes..
i can feel your heart beating..
i get it..
that's the feeling which makes me wanna dream of you,
while talking to you..
so that i can pull u out of the bubble,
and hug you..
telling you how impt u're to me..
and...
p/s:
be careful and wish you gd luck in getting your cheese..!!
--------
A pair of chopsticks represent us
Like a magic, the wizard has cast
One perhaps, can survive on it's own
But the other, offers as a pillar of support..
No one tells us what's right or wrong
Where's the chemistry between us came from
I've learnt the pain that you're on
Throw me the burden, and i'll carry it on..
The chopsticks, a pair of lovely swans
Made like a dream, that everyone wants
One may be scratched, faded or tore
But the other will not leave, and that's forever more..
Close your eyes and think of me
Like the chopsticks we shall be
In hot soup, in trouble, we'll see
Hurdles we cross, perhaps are meant to be..
--------
I was bored..
I was down..
Walking aimlessly..
found myself in the Garden, again.
I close my eyes..
and took a deep breathe
I smell tulips, so sweet, so fresh and so nice..
I just love this feeling.
--------
Day [37]
when often a garden is not watered
plants grew weak and then they withered
here i am with teardrops from the heart
giving our flowers the brightest start..
time has neva been our factor
but will it post as a terrible danger
i knoe it's not easy for us to begin
an opportunity for us to knoe each other in..
every phone call we made and talked
every laughter we had when the fatty walked
every smile you had when i'm silly
and how shocked i am when u had 100 dollies..
from now on let's get closer
let you stay in my heart, in the center
may everything be a very nice beginning
happily ever after with no sad endings..
--------
Day [35]
today all things seem so wrong
how i thot of her all day long
she dun seems to understand
we quarrelled till the birds can't stand..
i truly wish to let her knoe
yes, i admit that i am cold
but it doesn't mean i dun even care
cos you dun see how the heart tears..
you are somebody important in my life
a someone, i can't wait for her to arrive
to stay on and like me by and by
and she wont ever say good bye..
it has to be you, my only summer
bcos of you, i somehow just got weaker
u just make me go realli weak
when i see ur "crawl"-cute pic..
--------
I am here to water my tulips.. with ai xin
something caught my eyes again..
"to me, you are a someone i can't live without"
.. wondering if it's straight from the heart or just some copied lyrics
--------
"What do you mean?"
"er.. I cant remember"
"But it's from you"
"When did I send?"
"5.20am"
"Let me recall.."
My first thought was that you have bad memory.
My second thought.. a little scary.. you cant remember what you have said. So does it mean that you dont even mean what you have said ?
I think further.. finally realised. The message was not even meant for me, coz you said "if i wanna turn back the past, I hope you'll be mine."
But the fact is.. I was never yours.
--------
Day [33]
Today the farmer sang a duet with the princess in the morning.. so sweet.. though the song is "hao xin fen shou", which seems to be a wrong song to sing but they did pretty alrite for the song.. ^___________________________^ d
--------
Day [33]
Our First:
First Meeting: 13 Oct 2005
First Conflict: 13 Oct 2005
First Blog: Our Secret Garden set up at 6 Nov 2005, 1.20pm
First Time I Got Her Number: 23 Oct 2005 (bcos of internet prob.. hehehe.. ^_^)
First Song I sang to summer: Tong Hua
First Song She sang to me: Yu Jian
First Duet: Hao Xin Fen Shou (15 Nov 2005)
First Call to her: 24 Oct 2005
First Call from her: 8 Nov 2005; 3.15pm
First MMS to summer: 25 Oct 2005; 2.30pm
First MMS from her: 11 Nov 2005; 2.45pm
First Time I express my liking to her: 24 Oct 2005
First Time She expresses her liking to me: 10 Nov 2005; 1.30am
First Time I'm thinking of her: 14 Oct 2005 (cos she go bangkok, never tell me.. *fatty*)
First Time She's thinking of me: 8 Nov 2005
--------
Day [32]
The Princess's First:
First Doll: Barbie
First Pet: Terapin
First Piercing: Ears when I was 7 and 1 more last year
First Tattoo: none
First Love: My Bolster
First Friend: Chong (neighbour)
First Enemy: I don't know
First Idol: Sammi Cheng
First Job: none
First Funeral: My grandmother :(
The Farmer's First:
First Doll: no doll, but toy car - BMW
First Pet: Mike (hamster)
First Piercing: - (scared of pain)
First Tattoo: - (scared of pain)
First Love: My hair (till now)
First Friend: sister
First Enemy: Hong Da (K1 friend for drawing on my PAP shirt)
First Idol: Fann Wong ( i also wonder why..)
First Job: macdonald at 14
First Funeral: Aaron's dad.. (none in my own family)
Our First:
First Meeting: 13 Oct 2005
First Conflict: 13 Oct 2005
First Blog: Our Secret Garden set up at 6 Nov 2005, 1.20pm
First Time I Got Her Number: 23 Oct 2005 (bcos of internet prob.. hehehe.. ^_^)
First Song I sang to summer: Tong Hua
First Song She sang to me: Yu Jian
First Call to her: 24 Oct 2005
First Call from her: 8 Nov 2005; 3.15pm
First MMS to summer: 25 Oct 2005; 2.30pm
First MMS from her: 11 Nov 2005; 2.45pm
First Time I express my liking to her: 24 Oct 2005
First Time She expresses her liking to me: 10 Nov 2005; 1.30am
First Time I'm thinking of her: 14 Oct 2005 (cos she go bangkok, never tell me.. *fatty*)
First Time She's thinking of me: 8 Nov 2005
Our Future's First??
First Date: ??
First Movie: ??
First Picture taken: ??
First Together: ??
First Hug: ??
First Kiss: ??
First Time meet parents: ??
First Child: ??
First Car: ??
First House: ??
p/s: stay tuned to find out..
--------
You May Never Know
I wish I be the tears in your eyes
Whenever you cry
I'll roll down your cheeks
And end up at your lips
But I never will wish
You be the tear in my eye
For I'll lose you
Everytime I cry
If kisses were water
I'd give you the ocean
If hugs were leaves
I'd give you a forest
If love were space
I'd give you a galaxy
If friendship were life
I'd give you mine for free
Chorus:
You may never see how much I care for you
You may never hear how much I treasure you
You may never feel how much I miss you
'Coz only here in my heart can you see them true
I don’t want to say I miss you
Though deep inside I do
'Coz I’m afraid that
You might see thru
Whenever you feel blue
I'll be there for you
Whenever you are sad
I'll stay by your side
*repeat chorus
I hate when you smile at me
Bcoz you make me go crazy
I hate when you talk to me
BCoz you make me loss of words
*repeat chorus
*repeat chorus
You may never feel how much I miss you
'Coz only here in my heart can you see them true
You wrote this song for me, especially for me.
I like it
I realli like it
But you choose not to believe
You choose to think otherwise
I knew you didnt like not being the first to write
But does it matter ?
We cant change yesterday
but we have hopes for tomorrow
Think now.. of what you were thinking
when you wrote this song
Think now.. of who you were thinking
when you sang this song
I like it
I love it
now and forever..
--------
Day [31]
yest the farmer and the princess had a total of 5hrs conversation.. can't believe the farmer spent more than one-sixth of the day talking to his princess.. the princess also did tell the farmer what's his flaws were but din ask him to change.. is she trying to accept him for who he is?? he made her cry yest, when he was playing this music which is playing now, to the princess..
at nite, the princess made the farmer faced a sad problem again - his past relationship.. but the farmer was glad that he walked thru the lonely sad memory path again, together with the princess.. she was supposed to be studying, but she took the time off to talk to him.. the farmer and the princess had a conversation abt apple yest.. it's always nice to talk to someone who is in the same frequency as you.. the farmer spent his nite thinking of making a decision to go ahead or stay away from the princess.. his close friend, aaron, told him to watch and do the next course of action.
but sadly, though now someone owns the apple of her eye, but there are 2 other men queuing up for the apple - the farmer and a knight (hao ren).. as the apple turns softer, no longer crunchy as in the past, it seems that the princess likes the prince, farmer and knight.. it seems impossible to the farmer that one's heart is able to split to so many pieces.. he's very thankful to the princess for being truthful but it's a little too much for the farmer to take..
the farmer slept a little in the nite, had a dream.. he dreamt that the princess was only out to make fun of him.. out to destroy the whatever-bits-of heart he has.. the princess told him that she has neva liked him and she doesn't let him go, cos she just wanna toy and toy with him till she got tired of him..
he woke up, feeling disappointed.. he went back to sleep again, this time, he dreamt that he told the princess he wants to be let off, let him get back to his own world cos they just dun belong to the same world and it's impossible to bring the 2 worlds together as one.. she however wrote something in the garden.. he woke up, thinking if he shld go to the garden and check but decided not to.. so he continued to sleep..
he din go to the garden the whole of the day and afternoon.. just as true, when he went to the garden in the evening, he saw her msg.. thanks for leaving the sweet msg.. they din talk much today cos the princess told him that she'll be busy today so dun call her.. just leave her a msg and she'll try to reply..
the farmer also knoes that he shldn't take up too much time of the princess but all he hopes is that the princess won't give him just a "i'm busy" tagline.. but rather tell him what she's busy with.. be it studying, be it going out with friends but not just "i'm busy.."
--------
First time logging into this account. Have this strange feeling which I cant describe.
And silly you.. you shouldnt have left the login and password in the open. What if someone happens to drop by ? What if someone deletes your creation ? Wont you feel sad ?
It's sweet and I really appreciate it. But please dont do it again.
Just wanna to leave a sweet smile here :)
--------
I like the tulips, especially white tulips
I like the angel, coz she is in white too
I like the song, it's so beautiful
I like the Garden, coz it's Ours
Thank you for everything..
--------
Day [30]
There is night so we can appreciate day, sorrow so we can appreciate joy, evil so we can appreciate good, you so I can appreciate love.
Rain and sunshine do not always come together. Night and day never coincide. But you and I, whatever they say, is for me the perfect match.When I dream, I dream of you...maybe one day, dreams will come true.
If, out of time, I could pick one moment and keep it shining, always new, of all the days that I have lived, I'd pick the moment I met you.
When it rains, you don't see the sun, but it's there. Hope we can be like that. We don't always see each other, but we will always be there for one another.
You'll know that you miss someone very much when every time you think of that person, your heart breaks into pieces and just a quick "Hello" from that person can bring the broken pieces back.
When the time comes I can't smile anymore, don't worry about me, I know what to do. I'll just stare at one corner and think of you. No one else could make me happy like the way you do.
Everyone wants to be the sun that lights up your life. But I'd rather be your moon, so I can shine on you during your darkest hour when your sun isn't around.
It's hard to say hello because it might be goodbye. It's hard to say I'm okay because sometimes I'm not. But it's easy to say I miss you coz I know that I really do.
My biggest reward is to see you smile, know you are happy, and feel you are loved. I know life is sometimes cruel, but that's why I'm here, to show you that life can be good when somebody cares.
I always think of you, but I always fail to know the reason why. Is there something else I should know about you? But there is one thing that I know is true. That life will always be sad without you.
Don't say you love me unless you really mean it cause I might do something crazy like believe it.
Text me when you are sad, text me when you need someone to listen to and you can't find anyone who will. I don't care if I'm your last option, I just don't want you to cry alone.
I wish one day you will miss me terribly that no matter how hard you look for me, you won't find me. Why? Because, I want you to miss me the way I'm missing you right now.
A person you love is an extension of yourself. Without it, you're not complete so better take care of yourself because I don't want to lose a part of me.
Someone asked what makes people happy. Some said wealth and some said fame. I was thinking about this when my cell phone beeped and received a text from you. Then, I smiled and said: "This makes me happy."
Someone once asked me, "Have you ever fallen in love?" Then I answered, "Of course, once." Then they asked me another question: "Did it hurt?" I thought of you and told them "Yes, very much".
I asked God for a rose and He gave me a garden. I asked God for a drop of water and He gave me an ocean. I asked God for an angel and He gave me you!
If only one star would fall every time I miss you, then all the stars in heaven would be gone. Don't wonder if there are no stars tonight! It's your fault coz you made me miss you a lot.
Life may sometimes be a rough road to walk on where everything seems wrong. But don't give up. Just go on coz when you think you're all alone, look back and you'll find me walking along.
An angel asked me a reason why I care for you so much. I told her I care for you so much coz there's no reason not to.
I will walk with you side by side for only one condition: hide your wings every time we walk together because the whole world might know that you're my angel!
I miss you when something really good happens, because you're the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you're the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry, because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow, and me tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when I lay awake at night, and think of all the wonderful times that we spent with each other for those were some of the best and most memorable times of my life.
As I stared into your eyes, you asked me why I was about to cry, its because I knew you were going to say good-bye."
Oh, I shouldn't care or wonder where and how you are, but I can't hide this hurt inside my broken heart. I'm fighting back emotions that I've never fought before because I'm not supposed to love you anymore
The worst feeling in the world is loving someone, when they don't love you back. Your heart aches every time you see him, knowing that no matter how deep you look into their eyes, trying to reach their heart, you never will.
After I wake up from dreaming about you, I have the biggest smile on my face. Then it quickly fades away because I realize that it was just a dream and you're not really mine.
--------
Day [30]
the farmer was very happy to receive a reply from the princess.. he likes hearing what the princess thought of him, and he knoes there are some parts he must change for the better.. they just had a 3hrs conversation over the phone.. and the farmer enjoyed every min of it.. but during the conversation, he wonders if he's boring the princess with some dumb stuffs which she doesn't even interested to knoe..
he likes hearing her voice.. he just likes hearing many things about her.. he just likes everything abt the princess.. though she's a princess, she doesn't realli want much from her dream prince.. i realli dunno how happy can she be.. but she just msg him after listening to the new music that is playing in the garden..
what more can the farmer ask for?? it's contentment.. he wants more of princess summer.. he wants to flow into her life.. but as long as his princess is happy, everything is as good as can be.. as the song speaks for him, he does feel like a hero.. the moment they ended the call, he only got her in his mind.. he wonders what will happen when he starts getting busy at work again..
the farmer doesn't knoe if the princess likes him more and more each day, but as long as she ever did, even a tiny bit is enough.. contentment?? the farmer is also a simple man.. just wants someone to love him too.. enjoy the song, princess.. it's all for you..
--------
Day [30]
a mth between them has passed, and the music is specially changed for this post to create a romantic atmosphere, mood and feel when the princess enters their secret garden..
this is the farmer's testimonial letter to the princess on the first month of their friendship and towards the remarkable journey of summer and kelvin..
the farmer wrote...
in this mth, many amazing things happened between us.. from how we get to knoe each other, till now you even have a tiny bit of feelings for me.. perhaps you'll neva see how much i care for you, perhaps you'll neva hear how much i treasure you and perhaps you'll neva feel how much i miss you, cos only here in my heart, will you see them true.. i've grown to like you so much, having the feeling of trying to make a special someone happy and staying late at nite to use the phone with her...
you too, have grown in me.. slowly.. breathing in me, thinking in me..
i always make you mad with the silly things i've done.. most of the time, i'll feel very troubled but bcos of my ego, i always end up making you madder..
i made you cry, i made you shed those precious tears.. i wish i'll be the tear in your eye whenever you cry, cos i'll flow down your cheeks and onto your lips.. but neva will i wish, you'll be the tear in my eye cos i'll lose you everytime i cry..
i made you worried at times bcos of my bolding of expressing how i feel towards you.. bcos i knoe you had my best interests for me and you dun wan me to be hurt eventually.. pls dun worry abt me.. let's not call this tough period be waiting, but a chance for us to knoe each other more.. if we can't get together eventually, i promise that i'll still live my life properly and just the way you want me to be..
i hope i did make you happy at times too.. i hope i made you shy at times.. i hope i made you proud of me sometimes, i hope i made you like me abit by abit more as the time goes by.. in me, i've already seen you as the perfect one in my mind..
i'm very very sorry for alot of things.. sorry for everything, and sorry for anything.. i knoe sometimes i made you confused with my chicky mandarin and ducky cantonese..
i knoe it's not easy to pick up a dialect just like this.. but give me some time.. i may sound like an idiot at times but i just wanna have another common interest with you..
all these are things i wanna tell you from the bottom of my heart.. of how important you are to me, and i'm glad at our secret garden, i can put all my secrets that i wanna tell you.. i hope eventually one day, my efforts will touched you.. and perhaps, we can be..
the perfect couple.....
this secret garden is for us.. so i wish my precious also can write something abt us in it.. you use pink for your entry while i continue to use black..
--------
Day [29]
seven things that attract the princess to the opposite sex:
1) height
2) broad shoulders
3) charismatic
4) knowledgeable
5) confident
6) reliable
7) faithful
farmer's response:
(-) my height is only 1.73m,
(-) my shoulders measured at 15.5 inches
(-) dun think i have..
(-) only an idiot will think i'm knowledgeable
(-) i realli dun have confidence.. i tried, and i dunno how to improve on it..
(-) i think i'm reliable enough (sounded unsure)
(-) if i can call you my very own, i'll swear by to stick with you thru thick and thin.. but will you??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
seven random things about the princess:
1) she is left-handed
2) she has small hands
3) she loves her hair
4) she likes to laze on her bed
5) she dislikes bread & biscuits
6) she has low threshold for pain
7) she doesn't have much patience
farmer's response:
(-) i'm left-handed too..
(-) my hands are big enough to contain the hands of yours.. i believe they have all the warmth that ur little hands needed to keep you thru the cold days..
(-) i love your hair too and i love you more..
(-) no worries, i can be ur hao lao gong and bring breakfast rite up to you..
(-) no worries too, i'm willing to be ur rubbish bin.. whatever u dun like to eat, i'll eat it for you.. (only applicable to food and nth else)
(-) i'll take away all your pain and i knoe that by me being there, i've already been able to cut the pain by half.. i'll erase the remaining pain by telling you that i'll be there for you, no matter what happens.. i'll hold your hands and put them in my warm hands and tenderly i'll also tell you that my life is definitely worth lesser than yours.. if i can take over what you're feeling, i'll hope that God will put it on me..
(-) i also dun have much patience.. but let's learn to be more patient and tolerance towards each other okie?? i hope some of our conversations are not to point out each other's faults but we learn to accomodate with each other and try to live with each other's faults.. we may not be perfect ppl, but we can be the perfect couple..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
seven things the princess can do:
1) annoying at times
2) boring at times
3) do anything for a friend
4) eat sushi for weeks and not tired of it
5) sleep for days
6) sms in the shower
7) reply to an sms while sleeping
farmer's response:
(-) u can be annoying at times, but i'll be annoying at the OTHER times.. hehee..
(-) i can spend my life telling you how dear you are to me every morning, my music to spend thru the dull moments, my thoughts of you to spend thru the sleepless nites, my bright eyes to spend thru the nites without stars, my voice to spend thru the kelvin-less times, and my company to spend thru ur life..
(-) i'll not stop you, but i'll be there to analyze the situation with you, offer any help if i need.. your friend will be mine.. and we'll do our best to help him/her..
(-) though i dun like sushi, i'll eat with you.. as long as you are happy, i dun mind even eating charcoal.. *smiles* u jusy make me like everything about you..
(-) if i'm with you, i'll tell you bedtimes stories, i'll sing to you, i'll talk to you, and i'll tuck you into my arms as you set on ur journey to lala-land..
(-) i can't sms in the shower, but i'll stop washing my hair just to reply your msgs.. cos i dun wan you to suffer another dull moment without me..
(-) i just wanna tuck you in my arms.. regardless of whatever you do in ur sleep.. including kicking me..
--------
Day [29]
yes.. no movie date tmr.. the princess told the farmer that they will talk later but an hr has passed, but mobile still remained silent.. "think she'll not be msg-ing" thought the farmer.. so he decided to come online just for fun.. he saw the princess and her prince both online.. the farmer suddenly realised something..
that he is not the prince at all.. why shld he feel weird how come the princess din msg or call him.. he sat on his bed for that hour, thinking and thinking.. yes, he does like to spend a few mins of his time thinking abt everything that has happened to him in the day.. he wonders if she'll tell her friends that she's expecting a call from the farmer and will call them back later.. he also knoe she wont..
the farmer also knoe that he's not the prince, so why shld he carry things so far off especially when it all seems so vague.. was last nite just a dream he had..?? but it seems to real and pleasant.. he's feeling all weird up from those thinkings he has.. he doesn't want to judge the princess for who she is anymore.. he certainly hopes she is not the kind who just say nice things just to make the person feel better..
he doesn't knoe what's running in his mind, and he doesn't want to tell the princess abt anything, bcos he knew that all she will say is to head to bed and stop thinking.. but is the princess willing to listen to his thoughts and perhaps wanna tell him how she feels abt his thinking?? mayb she will after reading, and maybe she wont afterall..
with her little bit of liking to the farmer, the farmer too, wonders what shld he do.. make her feel more love, or just take it that it was just a dream last nite and nothing is true abt it.. how much love does she have for her prince? how much is for the farmer?? are there other guys with the little bit of like?? who else?? anyone else?? thoughts and thoughts..
--------
Day [28]
yes yes yes.. everything has been exposed.. under super duper pressure from the princess, and promising in the previous post to make her happy everyday, the address to their secret garden is revealed.. and yup, somehow or another, the farmer heard the princess' sweet smile and a voice that trail off like "awwww, that's so sweet of the farmer"
and by random, the farmer managed to upload another picture.. oh man, he was so proud of it.. and called the princess immediately.. everything was good today, the princess was happy and so was the farmer..
anyway, the farmer decided to ask the princess out tmr for a movie, "Just Like Heaven" and he realli wants to catch it with her.. he doesn't mind if he get to see her or not.. he jus hope his dream can come true (the movie dream over at the bus stop).. and the farmer has thought of a way so that they can enjoy the movie, yet wont get to see each other..
here's the plan..
the farmer will reach the cinema first, while of course, will get the tickets and leave one of the tickets at the counter.. then when princess reaches, she will collect her ticket from the counter and enter lor.. though the farmer thinks it's a little too much to let the princess find her own seat, but if she doesn't want to see the farmer, then it's okie too..
he just want to watch this show with her.. and tomorrow is also a very good date.. 11 of november.. so cool.. 11/11.. a meaningful date.. now got 12.15pm, 2.30pm and 4.45pm show at plaza singapura.. will the princess watch it with the farmer tomorrow??
and of course, if she doesn't mind going out with a burnt but still handsome guy.. hehe..
--------
Day [28]
the farmer hardly had a wink last nite. he was thinking abt the princess all the while.. he knoes that the princess is as confused as he is.. he had yet another conflict with her again.. and this time, he din give in at all.. he simply just gave a very cold answer to the princess when she asked him if he's okie.. all this while, the princess is actually very concerned abt the farmer though she hardly show it out..
he took a bold step and asked if the princess likes him a little.. or is he thinking too much.. the farmer realli wanted an answer..he got his answer a min later.. the princess admitted to liking him but only a little.. though he's not sure if it's bcos she's in sleepy mode or perhaps just entertaining him.. but she said just a little..
the farmer then asked her if she wants to leave it as it is, or does she want to progress on to another phase of their life.. the princess din answer him but did say that she can't progress on bcos there's already a prince in her life.. what shld the farmer do?? to pretend last nite din occur at all?? he sat thru the nite, floating thru dreamland and reality, thinking of a solution.. which he din..
the farmer then woke up, looked thru all their conversations, all the replies in his mobile (wonder how come in that era got hp? it's the modern century okie??), went to the little corner.. he realli wanted to call the princess and tell her how sorry he is, for hurting her in the process of getting his flames out of his head..
she's realli just a simple princess, who needs to love and be loved alot.. though the farmer hates such fairytales, he jus simple took a step back and into the fairytale.. the princess doesn't have much wishes.. she simply wants to be happy everyday.. and even such simple task, the farmer is not able to fulfill, then what is there to talk abt giving her happiness?? want to go after her is the farmer, no confidence is also the farmer.. what the hell doesn't the farmer wants in her life??
does he wanna change the lives of 2 ppl?? to break up the 2 ppl, destroy one, and not treasuring the other one?? from today onwards, the farmer decided to try to let the princess happy everyday.. it's the least he can do.. to let her happy, will definitely keep him happy.. other than that, as for other things, he doesn't wanna care.. he jus want to be with the princess.. yes.. he knoes what to do now.. all thanks by sitting in the tulip garden, made him waken up from those dumb thinkings he had..
--------
Day [28]
when one is running out of luck, nth can be better to hear this thru her lips..
nice - u said
considerate - u said
funny - u said
mean - u too said
proud - u too said
eager to be different - u too said
nvm, i let u say..
i dunno how to tell you lah, dun wanna talk - u said
nvm, i let myself say..
i dun wan to listen to ur convo, i jus wan to slp - u said
i dun wanna talk anymore, i jus wanna go off - u said.
nvm, i let u go..
i came to realise what kind of person i am.. in the past, i wud have blasted the person for saying i'm eager to be different.. but now, i learnt to swallow my pride.. i used to think that my mum gave me my pride, so whoever say things i dun like, i wont give a damn.. but now, i realised my pride is the true me..
if u wanna trampled on it, i'll let u do so..
if u wanna spit at it, i'll gladly do so..
but i jus dunno why it has to be you.. i think conflicts after conflicts, it's not doing any of us any good as well.. maybe it comes to a day, i'm just too tired of conflicts, i'll just let you do whateva u wan to.. u're the one who showed me what is heaven, you're also the one who showed me what's hell..
mayb it's time i wake up from the dream that farmer can neva be with the princess..
--------
Day [27]
today is the 27th day and the farmer decided to stay away from the princess so that she can study a little better. but still he called her in the evening.. the princess kept asking him for the address to this area where the farmer reveals the most sincere and most truthful things abt the princess without hurting anyone in the process..
actually, the farmer doesn't want to come here, he hopes to be able to express his feelings to her truthfully and openly and dun have to worry if it's rite or not.. he dun think he'll reveal the address to her any time now.. he shall see about it..
--------
Day [26]
and so, the story continues on the 26th day. that morning, the farmer forgot wat did he said to the princess the nite before but princess sent him a msg in the morning at 7 plus, telling him she's thinking of him now.. the farmer asked the princess for the reason and the princess told him that the farmer just came into her mind, she dun think she need a reason.. that was all it needed for the farmer to melt out.. dun you knoe that the farmer misses the princess alot too??
but how can he say it out?? they are both brought into the amazing world with different backgrounds.. or is the farmer thinking too much?? has the princess fallen for the farmer?? is it realli the case??
in the late evening, the farmer left a msg for the princess because princess gotta study for her exams (yes, princess need to study too ^_^) he asked her what happen if he misses her and so the princess left a game in her blog for him..
something must be done before the world crashes.. the farmer doesn't like the princess to have the best of both worlds..
--------
Day [25]
interesting day isn't it?? in the afternoon we're still fine and we had another conflict in the nite.. everytime also like this.. in, out, in, out.. then in the end, i'll call u, speak some mandarin and everything's settled.. i dunno what summer wants, and i certainly dunno wat do i want.. is this the kind of girl, whom i'm expecting in my life?? did she realli fulfill all my criterias..??
i dunno.. i almost forgot most of the criterias.. and i'll live to knoe that no one will be the perfect one.. and even there is, i'll not go after her.. becos i'm simply just not good enough.. i'm very tired liao.. tired of having low confidence.. i'm looking forward everyday to something which seems to be leaving every moment.. just like a cloud in the sky.. i can't ask you to stay, so leaving everything to nature, let it takes its course..
i asked her if i'm of someone importance in her life or merely just a passer-by.. and i got an answer,"i dunno".. sighz. mayb tmr will be a better day.. maybe..
--------
Day [24]
din realli hear from summer in the morning, then i msg her after lunch, exchanged a few msgs.. then i fell asleep.. my mobile rang and she told me that she's out with her friends and mayb home late tonite.. she said i could msg her if i miss her..
i thot the msg was for me.. but i suddenly thought of kenji.. his name also KE-something.. so i forward the msg back to her and told her it's for the wrong person..
she replied "someone no confidence??"
i thought she was joking.. is she trying to play a fool with me?? is she trying to make me smile or something?? so i told her how wud i dare to even dream abt such gd things happening to me.. then she replied...
"it's 4 u"
my heart melted.. i told i miss her so much even though i dun say it out anymore.. and the main reason is bcos i knoe i dun wan her to get worried bcos of me.. am i doing the rite thing?? anyway i did told her i missed her alot after that.. but she din reply me.. and i knoe why..
cos she only asked me to msg her if i miss her but she neva say she will reply.. i'm rite.. doesn't it??
--------