but the thousand words merely states the superficial side of my heart.. and wait till you see the inner side of me.. you wont think that a mere thousand words will tell the story of how i love this girl..
need i say more that her life is more impt than mine and i was brought into this world not to make a difference to the world, but to meet her.. to have my heart shattered bcos of her.. and to knoe that it's her that i love..
perhaps that's wat i can only say to her..
i knoe she can do it.. and i knoe she'll fear of facing it again.. so i'll always be around to motivate her, and tell her she's the only suitable person to do the job and no one can do it as beautifully as her in this world..
sadly, a gift which was ready to be presented and now, it's all but 2 metal stuffs with no more importance, and now i knoe why metal is cold.. it was meant to warm up with our fingers, not mine alone.. cos i can't fit into yours..
and i respected your decision.. and of course, you..
i think.. perhaps the word "friend" is just wat i am to you..
this is a side of me, i'll never never show you..
i've not say "i love you" for a long while, and the words now seems so strange to you.. there's nth to it anymore..
it's gonna be a long nite tonite.. a long one..
and lastly, i'll wipe myself off away from her mind, her life and her memories forever..
--------
*blows*
wow.. it's been a long time since i enter here.. lots of dust and unkept grasses.. tulips dying of thirst and weeds shooting out.. but it's alrite.. cos rite now after all my field camps, i've more time to tidy up the place.. afterall, the place is now quiet and peaceful.. no more laughters, neither is there anymore sadness..
it's just a place without love and without any soul.. it's just me alone.. i'm deciding to open up this garden to others so that ppl can read abt all the memories of a couple.. or i shld say, an ex-couple.. i realli enjoy this place alot.. it's where i reflect my own mistakes or how badly i treated her.. but as i said, i'm alrite.. i'm happy now..
someday i knoe.. this will be the best decision i did for the both of us.. rite now, of course there will be tears in my eyes, but when the time comes for me to knoe that she's living her life well out there, i believe it's the day that the sun will come shining for me again.. but for now, i'll just like to sleep back in this familiar place where the smell of her and the tulips will accompany me thru this period..
though this is a short entry only, but i'm beginning to start appreciating many things ard me.. for things will not last and nothing will last forever.. rather than dragging it till the candle totally disappear, i rather i end it while it's still burning.. though it's flicking wildly now, symbolizing the end of it's short life, i'm contented that the candle ever did burn..
yup.. and now, it's time to start cleaning up the area.. gonna bring more stuffs in as time goes by.. congrats to her.. and a gd bye hug for her..
*hugs*
*wiping off tears*
i'm fine,
really..
--------